Good Days, Great Smiles

i'm very disappointed and unhappy over certain things.. firstly, it's over friendship and secondly about ...

Everytime, i will try my best to hide my feelings when u all made my blood boil, but at home, i will have to bear with it all alone! i'm so sick of this routine! And, the thing is, i have to put up a show in front of everybody in school or else, i will be condemned forever... i don't want that! arrgh..

if u don't like me/feel insecure with me/unhappy to be with me, just tell me straight, i really hate ppl who still continued to be with me despite their deep hatred in me.. and the best part is, u show me no respect at all, give me all ur disgusting crap, leave me aside at the corner and expect me to take them in silence.. then, out of a sudden, u treat me so well as if i'm ur best soulmate ever.. U make me feel so happy at one time, then the next minute, u treat me like dirt!! I told myself all the time, aiya, u are just feeling unhappy and moody at this moment la, that's y u are venting ur frustration to me now.. u should be ok later... But, this can't continue forever!!!! zzzzzzzzzz....................

Secondly, actually, i'm in quite a fix.. i actually fell for two guys since the middle of last year.. one of them graduated from school just recently and i just saw him yesterday, wah! he was so cute! haha! and he left me good memories... he makes me laugh whenever i look at him and i'm able to talk to him very comfortably and happily.. then, when i'm with him, i feel like i'm the luckiest girl on Earth.. The days i've spent with him were truly the happiest of my life.. maybe that's because it's the first time i had a serious crush on someone? well, but sadly, i can't have those days anymore... he has graduated already.. and he got really good results which i felt really proud of! i wish u all the best in your future.. the second one was the "newer" one.. i just liked him not too long ago.. as compared to the first guy which lasted for 3 years.. this one is really new.. he's funny, he makes me laugh and makes me go gaga over him sometimes, but recently, we lost contact suddenly.. so, i din think much of him.. and gave up all this crushing thing on him, but then, a few days ago, i came across pictures of him and i saw girls beside him in every one, furthermore, behaving in a rather intimate way.. omG! i felt like a stupid moron... yea, i know i shouldn't be thinking of love at such a young age.. but, it's like really disheartening to see such pics, i felt like crying! but hell no, i'm so NOT crying for a guy, man.. hell NOOO! well, think i should stop all these crap, it's seriously getting nowhere..so, i should concentrate on my studies instead.. zzzzz...