Good Days, Great Smiles

i'm soo foolish.. i'm soo stupid.. why can't i just channel all the energy t e right place? n stop brooding over stupidd things.. i dunno wat i'm thinking.. i seem t have a vvvvvv negative mindset.. everything that goes thru my mind seems t be extremely negative.. why am i like tt? i've told myself a few thousand times, i would really die v quickly if i continue t b such a pessimist.. everybody is having so much fun.. but y m i suffering? y shd i suffer? can't i change myself, so tt i can live happier.. dun take everything t be so complicated n disgusting.. things are just as fine as it is.. hais, how i wish i can change as and when i like.. but i'm a human being, not a robot..
i feeel so loost.. i feel like i'm e only person left in this world.. it seems like nth in this world is meaningful enough for me t carry on w my life.. i can actually just die anytime. in fact..i can die now.. hais, nooooooo, can u stop thinking liddat, CHOO KIT YEE!? hais.. i have my beloved family.. i can't just kill myself lo, stop being so damn selfish, can or not?! u have a perfectly normal life... u are not handicapped, u dun have a shit on ur face, u can eat, sing, swim, run and laugh, so y are u torturing urself liddat! SO SELFISH N FOOLISH! Arghh.. i dunno what i'm thinking, now, i'm scolding myself? when i shd actually treasure my life n love myself? why am i liddat????????????????????? i have a strong urge of killing myself.. but i know i shdn't be so stupid... killing myself doesn't solve anything at all! i must be strong......arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............................................................................................................................